Mom, you've been gone for thirty years. But I never believed that you really left me alone to go to another world. I always thought you were on a long trip, just not back yet.
But every year Qingming, October 1(lunar calendar) repeatedly reminded me: you are really gone. The small conical mound in front of me is evidence of iron. Now, I can only with incense paper money and endless thoughts to your grave as a memorial.
In the blink of an eye, Mother's Day is here again. I am so envious to see other children buying new clothes and shoes for their mothers, inviting their parents to dinner, and having a happy family reunion. Do You Know How My Heart Aches? Only then did I truly realize what it means to be lonely and lonely. How could I not think of you?
If you were thirty years late, even if it was twenty years late, even if it was ten or eight years, I could tell you personally that I could earn my own living, and you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. I am afraid to buy you a piece of candy, buy a new dress, so that I can reduce some of the guilt and guilt. But you are so stingy that you don't even give your son a chance. How can you teach your son?
Although I was not born to you, and I have a disability on my legs, you pulled me so big and gave me all your love.How difficult is this, and you taught me how to repay you?
I think of the era of large collectives at that time, mainly living by earning centimeters of labor.At the end of the year, the final account, more work points, more food rations.During the day, you and your father worked hard to earn points.At night, you spin thread, weave cloth, and shoe.In the middle of the night, the dim little kerosene lamp reflects your sleepless tired figure.
When I was a kid, I could never remember my birthday, but you always remembered it very clearly. Every year on the twenty-one th day of the 12th month, you would say to me, “Remember, today is your birthday.”. Mother gave my baby a roll of face. You know, at that time the face of shame but the most luxurious meal. Only during the new year or when guests can eat.
I've got a cold. You Can't get enough of it. Because I have suffered this loss, my illness is due to high fever when I was a child can not come down only to fall. You called the Doctor to see me. The medicine into powder, bring boiling water, you know I take medicine, you take some sugar, coax me to eat medicine, then scoop a spoonful of sugar into my mouth, I can not feel the bitter taste of medicine.
And you usually have a headache and brain fever never see a doctor, saying that adults have strong resistance, and they will pass by carrying it.I know you're reluctant to spend money.You just let the village aunt squeeze on the forehead, pierce the skin with a sewing needle, put some blood, cover the quilt and fall asleep and sweat.
In those years, food was scarce and there was simply not enough to eat.Two meals a day are thin soup and little water, just make do with filling the stomach.In the evening, you and your father were holding on on an empty stomach and gave me the only remaining piece of bud noodle bun to eat.
In the countryside, there has long been a saying called "raising children and preventing old age".Someone in the village said behind your back to your father that the third uncle and third aunt are really suffering, and the son who raised his brother is counting on the end-of-life pension, it seems that not only can he not count on it, but he will not die when he is old.You know how painful it is to hear this.
People often have poison in their mouths, and this sentence is unfortunately struck by them.When you left, I had just entered the shoe factory, and not only did I not earn a penny, but I also had to take food expenses from home.When you die, your mind is clear.The most reassuring thing for you is my elderly father and my disabled me.You have repeatedly told my sister and the people of the Menzhong clan that you hope they will take care of me in the future.At that moment, my heart was broken.
你走的时候没带走我一针一线。你和父亲平常过日子就细发节俭，棺板老衣都是你们生前就筹备得齐齐全全妥妥当当的了。
After you left, my father and I depended on each other.When my father left, I did my best to send my father to the earth in accordance with our customs here, and I did not ask anyone to borrow a penny.The only thing I am ashamed of is you, so I have to repay it in the next life.
Mom, all these years, are you okay?