A piece of sincerity was thrown into a cesspool

Full sincerity was trampled to pieces

You like him, but he hates you

其实这样更好，让你学会自己爱自己

1

He hates me.

That day I really feel in the banquet, this originally enthusiastic invited me to dinner friend Zhao Guang, a blink of an eye hate me.

Zhaoguang can be said to be one of the very few people who can make me fall to the ground.We met in a talk, but we both admired each other for a long time.I'm a writer with a slight fan, and it's no surprise that he knows me, but I know very well that he is the ruthless character who has the ability to call the wind and rain in the industry.

I am an unsociable person, and it is impossible not to admire such a god who can invite hundreds of people to gather together with a single shout, and can talk freely with various guests.In him, I saw the ability to travel widely, to dance with long sleeves, which I had always lacked.

然而，我发现，他突然不理我了。

I don't know how he could be so warm to me one second, and then all of a sudden, he's got this look on his face, and he's grabbing his backpack and he's sitting farthest away from me? What did I ever do to him?

绞尽脑汁，难道是因为我刚才向别人介绍他时，用了“恩人”这个词？

回想起我们初认识时，他拍拍胸脯对我说：“采青，妳在写书过程中需要采访哪些出版社，尽管跟我说，我替你介绍！”他的确替我介绍了好几位编辑，帮了我大忙，让我心存感激，所以，我告诉朋友，他是我的“恩人”。这可是真心诚意，但他似乎认为我在拍马屁。一听到我用“恩人”这个词，脸色就变了。

宴会过后，我再也没收到他的任何邀约。像他那样喜爱广结人脉的男人，会刻意把一个人排除在外，我即便是再迟钝也都明白，他不是普通的讨厌我。

And I admire him so much.

Although it is not love, rejection of the pain will still be a solid hit in the heart, let us suffer unspeakable.

People look at each other in the mirror, and no one wants to look in the mirror and see a face they hate.

2

It wasn't the last time I was hated by someone who admired me.

This time I met another friend Wen Yi. He was incredibly ambitious, hard-working and down-to-earth, and within a few years he had built a Nothing in Common empire. When it comes to his brand, almost everyone knows it.

我们是如此相似，看见他，我彷彿看见自己，还是加强版的自己。我真心以为我们能成为无话不谈的知己。

Like Zhao Guang, he initially treated me warmly, complimented me, and offered to work with me, but at some point -- a point I didn't even understand -- he started ignoring me, the long message to me is“Unreadable”.

I felt that I was being thrown into a cesspool.And this is the second time.

The same thing happens over and over again. We want to get out of the loop, but at every time we get pushed out, we get so used to blaming the outside that we forget to look inside-what's going on inside of us?

3

So I began my inner exploration.

Between people is to look in the mirror, the mirror will not reflect their own appearance. A"Hated" look is probably a sign that there is a part of you that doesn't think you deserve to be loved.

One day, I talked about it with my friend, the teacher of mind and body.

“I think it's because I took him as myself.” I told him the truth. “In the past few years, I seemed to be playing the role of giving and taking care of myself. I didn't love myself well, so I wanted to love him very much. In fact, it was because I wanted to love myself.”

"It's a projection." He nodded and said: "There is another reason, an author like you who has published so many books, it is inevitable that fans will want to get close to you."Do you avoid them and feel overwhelmed in your heart? ”

A word awakened the dreamer. I do get a thousand letters from my fans every now and then, or come into the store and Gawk at me for three hours. With my busy life, I really don't have time to respond. I confessed: “Yes, many people want to get close to me, I do not want to, and when I want to get close to a person, I will feel a thousand miles away.”

“Because you feel sorry for your fans, you create the same situation and let yourself play the role of a fan to make up for your guilt,” said Qingfeng

It dawned on me that the fog of life was instantly clear.

It turned out that I didn't love myself well, and because I blamed myself for not being able to respond to people who liked me, I created this "I was a fan but didn't get a response" situation.In this, I in turn played the role of an admirer, experienced the sadness of being left out, the pain of not being loved, and received the punishment I felt deserved.

Now that we know the root cause, how do we deal with it?

The dilemma of "you love him, he doesn't love you" in interpersonal relationships has never been forced to be solved.You tried your best to take him into your wings, but you were actually kidnapped by his smiles, words and deeds.Only by setting him free can you be free.

Express your feelings sincerely and let him go. It is his decision whether he will love you or hate you. Your emotions have nothing to do with it. Although, this is very difficult to do, but this is the way to liberate the self.

In the end, the other does not love you, better. This allows you to see what you don't think is worth loving, re-embrace yourself, and learn to love yourself.

In our lives, everyone is a passerby, only we will accompany ourselves to the end, how can we not deal with ourselves and love ourselves well?

Essential oil healing

When we give full of heart, but by the other cold, the biggest impact in the heart. The so-called heart flowers open. Essential oils such as flowers are especially soothing to traumatized hearts. The king of the flowers is the rose, which helps to boost a woman's positive feelings about herself. There is a natural reason for lovers to send roses to maintain their hearts.

Rose essential oil is divided into chemical extraction and distillation extraction according to the extraction method.Chemical extractors are called "rose essence", because of the high oil extraction rate and relatively complete extraction molecules, so it smells like the commonly known rose fragrance, but there will be chemical residues.Aromatherapists generally prefer to distill the extracted rose essential oil, commonly known as "Otto rose".

Authou rose is real liquid gold. Since it takes four metric tons of rose petals to extract one kilogram of rose essential oil, the price remains high. Fortunately, the healing power of Otto's rose is so strong that it only takes a little bit to fully improve the depressed mind.

Blend rose essence or Otto rose into 1% concentrated massage oil, equal to every 5ml of vegetable oil into a drop of essential oil, take appropriate amount of massage in the chest. At the same time, learn to get along with yourself, feel the love pouring out of your heart and surround yourself gently. Remember to tell yourself, “You deserve to be loved, I love you.”.

This is the most beautiful gift you can give yourself.

Ni Caiqing is a physical and spiritual healing romance novelist, well-known book reviewer, newspaper columnist, best-selling Tharaux writer, fiction writer and lecturer, and head of the aromatherapy brand Jing he hua jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing Jing.